2010 and all that went with it
The mandatory list of the shittiest and most emotional year of my life so far.
- breakup
- dog in heaven
- personal breakup with myself
- confusion on a level i never thought possible
- loneliness reaching its peak
- got used to crying until i either couldn't breathe, or feel my hands
- depression?
On the plus side?
- i know what i wanna work with
I've lost so many things that meant the world to me.
The excruciating feeling of loneliness, being left out and misunderstood started early this summer and is still going on. Trying to handle it combined with knowing that some people have never really been my friends has been such an overwhelming experience.
I feel like I've lost all my vocabulary and all that's left are tears. Sometimes I dont even know why I'm crying, it can be lyrics going straight into my heart feeling like it'll cut it in half, it can be memories that I used to appreciate that now only cause me pain or just wondering why the hell all of this is happening to me.
All I need is strength. From myself or someone else. Someone to believe in me. Someone to tell me that my life doesnt suck, that I do mean something to someone. This can't all be bad karma. I know I'm no angel but I've never intentionally meant to hurt anyone. My real friends tell me 'after rain comes sunshine' but these clouds wont separate even for a hint of sunbeams. And I need them. I really do.
I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. I just wanna skip ahead a few years to see if it'll be alright later.
Tveksamhetens tid. Ingenting är som jag tror, ingenting är som det ser ut. Jag ber dig komma hit, får jag hålla din hand? Vågar jag be dig att stanna, får jag höra din röst?
- breakup
- dog in heaven
- personal breakup with myself
- confusion on a level i never thought possible
- loneliness reaching its peak
- got used to crying until i either couldn't breathe, or feel my hands
- depression?
On the plus side?
- i know what i wanna work with
I've lost so many things that meant the world to me.
The excruciating feeling of loneliness, being left out and misunderstood started early this summer and is still going on. Trying to handle it combined with knowing that some people have never really been my friends has been such an overwhelming experience.
I feel like I've lost all my vocabulary and all that's left are tears. Sometimes I dont even know why I'm crying, it can be lyrics going straight into my heart feeling like it'll cut it in half, it can be memories that I used to appreciate that now only cause me pain or just wondering why the hell all of this is happening to me.
All I need is strength. From myself or someone else. Someone to believe in me. Someone to tell me that my life doesnt suck, that I do mean something to someone. This can't all be bad karma. I know I'm no angel but I've never intentionally meant to hurt anyone. My real friends tell me 'after rain comes sunshine' but these clouds wont separate even for a hint of sunbeams. And I need them. I really do.
I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. I just wanna skip ahead a few years to see if it'll be alright later.
Tveksamhetens tid. Ingenting är som jag tror, ingenting är som det ser ut. Jag ber dig komma hit, får jag hålla din hand? Vågar jag be dig att stanna, får jag höra din röst?
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